After selling businesses now for 18 years, there’s still one stumbling block that takes me by surprise and hits hard, and that’s seller’s remorse.

On average, I see it every two or three years – a seller goes through the whole process and then ultimately can’t pull the trigger. The last time it happened was April of 2015.

We were working with two brothers in their 70’s and had benchmarked their business around $23.5 million. That was the goal we were all shooting for. And because the business had a lot of things going for it, including a strong seller’s market, we had multiple offers on the table.

The top four bidders all came in around the $24 million to $26 million range. In other words, not only did we hit the goal, we exceeded it. But then the sellers changed their minds and told us the deal “just didn’t make sense.”

When something like this happens we talk to a seller’s other advisors (e.g. lawyers, accountants) to find out what when wrong. And 9.9 times out of 10, they tell us what it really came down to was emotions and they just couldn’t let go of their “baby”.

Here are a few tips to make sure you don’t put yourself through the same gut wrenching and costly process of seller’s remorse:

    Know what you need

      Figure out your goals and plan your business sale on that. You want to know where the finish line is so you can sprint across.

      Get an estimate of value on your business. Then sit down with a tax accountant and figure out what you’ll net after taxes and fees. Next, meet with a financial advisor and talk about your ideal lifestyle and all the things you want to do for your family and community. If the numbers match up, it’s time to sell.

      According to the latest Market Pulse survey report from IBBA and the M&A Source, retirement is still the number one reason business owners sell. But consistently, burnout is the second leading driver. That’s a tough, emotional position to be in, and it can affect your sale price negatively by anywhere from 20 to 40 percent.

      Don’t wait for some kind of trigger. Plan ahead and work toward an identified goal. Do that and you’ll be able to make an objective decision from a place of confidence, rather than gut feel.

    Know what’s next

      When it’s time to sell, will you be running away or running to something? Selling your business can be a particularly scary time when you don’t know what you want to do next.

      The good news is you have a blank slate you can fill with all kinds of dreams and goals. But you need to be the one filling that slate. You have to be excited about what’s next.

      When we bring on a new client, we ask them to fill out a bucket list. Often they tell us they want to start a new business, travel, spend time with family, or volunteer at church.

      One seller goal really hit home for me – he wanted to take care of his ailing father. Personally, I got to spend one uninterrupted week with my father before he died. One week without business calls and emails, and I certainly would have treasured weeks or months more.

    Find your own identity

      Here in the Midwest, we take a lot of pride in our work, our businesses, our employees. But you need to be able to separate what you’ve accomplished from who you are. I know that someday I’ll need to be okay being just “Scott” not “Scott the business owner.”

      We all need to understand we’re more than our businesses. For many people, that ties back to their goals and core values like family, faith, and community.

      So prepare in advance, set new goals, and develop a sense of identity and self-worth that’s separate from your role as a business owner. (That last one’s easier said than done, I know.)

You’ve put in years of labor and now it’s time to do the emotionally hard work of preparing to let go…whether you’re selling tomorrow or even a few years from now. Prepare so you can move confidently into the next chapter of your life.

You don’t want to be at the closing table wondering, “Who am I? Where am I going? And is this the right decision?” And frankly, even if you do sell, I don’t want you thinking that either.

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A thought-leader in the industry, Scott developed the Cornerstone Process to offer investment banking M&A-level services to the lower middle market. The result is a closing ratio that’s more than double the national average.